Our adventures with infertility

In October of '05, Joe and I decided to start a family. I got pregnant rather quickly. In December we got the good news that I was expecting. But when we went in for our first ultrasound in February, the new was not so good. I had a gestational sac, but no baby. So it was back to the drawing board, so to speak. But even though we tried and tried for months, I wasn't getting pregnant. I became very obvious after a few more months that my endometriosis had come back. Several doctor's appointments and a laparoscopy later, it was determined that even though my tubes were open, the right tube was bound to the rear wall. This meant it wasn't as mobile as it should be. So we moved on to infertility treatments with Kaiser.

For a year I spent about every other month having my ovaries hyper stimulated with drugs to produce more than one egg follicle. They would monitor me closely with ultrasound and blood work. When the follicles were the right size (mature), I would take an hCG shot to trigger ovulation in 36 hours. Then I would go in for Intrauterine Inseminations (IUI) on ovulation day. It was supposed to take the guess work out of when was the appropriate day for insemination, plus with IUI, they doctor put the sperm at the back of the uterus. This meant the swimmers didn't have to travel as far to get to the eggs and you had a great chance of more swimmers getting to the required target.

Well, we were unsuccessful. The emotional toll of being unsuccessful and the callous nature of the Kaiser system was starting to get the best of us. After two years of this we were starting to feel like our dream of having a family was not going to be. We had discussed IVF before, but that could mean financial suicide, $16,000-$40,000 in money we don't have. We'd have to give up all of our savings and take on huge debt. Even though we knew we couldn't do it we went to see a Doctor outside of Kaiser to get a consult. To see if maybe there was something else we could do. But as soon as he heard the words, "we are not interested in IVF", he stopped paying attention to us. The rest of the conversation with him was like talking to a wall.

Kaiser does not provide or pay for any portion of IVF. If the hyper stimulation/IUI system doesn't work, you're on your own. I almost felt like the doctor should of said, "To bad, so sad, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out." Don't get me wrong, they did provide us with a list of providers that would give us a discount of some sort, but that was it. I left Kaiser's program without even telling them I was going to do so. And I have never received a call to see how I am or if I was finished. This left me felling, hurt, angry and very disappointed. I can't imagine what Joe was going through. Not only did he have his own feeling to contend with, he had a wife that was falling deeper and deeper into despair.

In early 2008 after a long and much need heart to heart, Joe and I decided we had to give IVF a try, we had to find a way to make it work. We both felt that we would regret not doing it. We were not going to spend every last penny we had, but we could give it a try and if it didn't work, well at least we could move on knowing we did everything to make our family dream become a reality.

And so we began the task of seeing which clinics in the area were good and how much they cost. The cost factor was not too different between each facility, give or take a few thousand dollars. So we looked at how friendly and comfortable we felt with each individual clinic and how professional they were. Of the seven clinics I spoke to, four never returned my call, two were indifferent to me, and one was above and beyond helpful. The Reproductive Partners Medical Group was who we decided to move forward with. It also just so happens to be a group of doctors that Joe's mom, Marilyn, worked very close with at Memorial Medical Hospital in Long Beach for many, many years. We feel confident that if anyone is going to be able to help us, they are the best choice.