During the last ultrasound the baby turned and looked right at the screen. Normally this would be cute and adorable. This time it was horrible and frightening. I'm not sure if Vanessa has been secretly banging that alien from Predator or perhaps consorting with Satan. I guess she could also be carrying He-man's nemesis, Skelator. I hope it's the He-man one. That would be cool. In any case this baby picture reveals a terrible, bloodthirsty creature complete with vicious claws for hands, soul destroying gaze and nasty, big, pointy teeth. I sure hope our child is not the harbinger of sorrow who will conquer the world and enslave all mankind but if it does maybe it will be nice to dear old Dad and give me an island or two complete with bikini clad women bringing me drinks while a small team of experts works out new ways to be nice to me. Don't say we didn't warn you.
Joe
3 comments:
What about uncles? I think Lex Luthor was really cool to his uncle. I'm pretty sure Catwoman was really cool to her uncle. Bought him all kinds of bling. Just a small island would be cool and not as many bikini-clad women. I won't be as heavy-handed as his dad, either. More like Tito than Stalin.
Have you learned nothing from watching our children in action? They are all harbingers of sorrow at one point or another. Try to stay on his good side...and locking your door when you go to sleep doesn't hurt. You don't want to end up in the cornfield. And don't worry about the big, pointy teeth - they all need orthodontic work eventually.
You guys are killing me!!!
I'm sure our little devil will be kind and generous to you but evil and cruel to its parents. They are all like that right?
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